The 5 Stages of Grief: Facing Loss with Emotional Strength

Loss is an inevitable part of life, whether it's the loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, or a significant life change. Everyone has a unique way of coping, one of the most well-known models that describes emotional responses to loss is the Kubler-Ross Model, or more commonly, the 5 Stages of Grief. This model was introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist, in her book On Death and Dying (1969).

These stages reflect the emotional journey individuals may go through when facing difficult realities. However, it’s important to note that this process is flexible—not everyone experiences all the stages or goes through them in a specific order. Here’s an in-depth explanation of each stage:

1. Denial

The first stage often arises immediately after receiving bad news or experiencing a significant loss. Denial is a natural defense mechanism designed to help a person process reality gradually. At this stage, individuals may feel confused, shocked, or even refuse to believe what has happened.

Characteristics of denial:

• Feeling like life is a bad dream.
• Thinking, "This can't be happening to me."
• Avoiding conversations about the situation.

Denial serves as an initial buffer to protect individuals from overwhelming emotions. Over time, as reality begins to sink in, a person may transition to the next stage.

2. Anger

When reality starts to set in, feelings of frustration and anger often emerge. This anger can be directed at oneself, others, the situation, or even at God. This stage reflects the sense of injustice felt as a result of the loss.

Characteristics of anger:

• Asking, "Why is this happening to me?"
• Blaming others or searching for a scapegoat.
• Feeling envious of those who are not experiencing similar struggles.

Although it seems negative, anger is an essential part of the healing process. This emotion allows individuals to express their deepest feelings instead of suppressing them.

3. Bargaining

After anger, individuals may try to find ways to change the situation. The bargaining stage often involves hope, even if unrealistic, that something can be done to improve the circumstances.

Characteristics of bargaining:

• Praying or making promises to God: "If I do this, please make everything go back to normal."
• Trying to find alternative solutions that may not exist.
• Reflecting on past mistakes with thoughts like, "If only I had done this, maybe things would be different."

This stage is often accompanied by guilt. People may repeatedly think of "what ifs" in an attempt to regain a sense of control over what happened.

4. Depression

This stage represents the lowest point in the grief journey. Individuals begin to fully feel the emotional impact of the loss, which can lead to feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, and a lack of motivation.

Characteristics of depression:

• Feeling that there is no hope or purpose.
• Withdrawing from social interactions.
• Losing interest in activities that once brought joy.

Depression doesn’t necessarily mean severe mental illness but rather a natural response to loss. However, if this stage persists for too long or becomes increasingly severe, seeking help from mental health professionals may be necessary.

5. Acceptance

The final stage is acceptance, where individuals come to terms with reality and begin to move forward. Acceptance doesn’t mean the loss is no longer painful, but rather that individuals have found a way to coexist with the grief.

Characteristics of acceptance:

• Accepting reality without denial or anger.
• Focusing on things within their control.
• Rebuilding routines and seeking new meaning in life.

At this stage, individuals may begin to feel at peace, even as they continue to cherish memories of what was lost.

Understanding the stages of grief helps individuals recognize their emotions and realize that these feelings are a normal part of the healing process. For those supporting someone grieving, this model can serve as a guide to provide appropriate help at each stage.

However, it’s essential to remember that every individual is unique. There is no set timeline or “right” way to grieve. Some people may move through these stages quickly, while others may take years.

What Can You Do When Facing Grief?

1. Allow yourself to feel: Don’t suppress your emotions. Experiencing grief is part of healing.
2. Seek support: Talk about your feelings with family, friends, or a therapist. Social support is crucial.
3. Take care of yourself: Continue to eat, sleep, and exercise, even if it feels difficult.
4. Be patient: The process takes time, and it’s okay to move at your own pace.

Grief is a challenging journey, but it can also be an experience that fosters emotional growth. By understanding the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—individuals can better recognize and embrace their grieving process.

Remember, everyone grieves differently, and there is no right or wrong way to go through it. If you or someone you know is struggling to cope with grief, don’t hesitate to seek help from mental health professionals. You don’t have to face it alone.For consultations regarding mental health at Hermina Purwokerto Hospital, there are psychologists that Hermina Friends can consult.

Access to registration can be done in the following 4 ways:
1. Download the mobile application on Playstore (Type Hello Hermina)
2. Call Call Center 1500488
3. Via website -> www.herminahospitals.com
4. Via the Mobile JKN application

Reference :

1. Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On Death and Dying. Scribner.":https://www.amazon.com/Death-Dying-Doctors-Nurses-Families/dp/1476775540
2. Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. Scribner .https://www.amazon.com/Grief-Grieving-Finding-Meaning-Through/dp/1476775559
3. Coping with Grief and Loss - HelpGuide :https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss
4. American Psychological Association (APA). "Grief.":https://www.apa.org/topics/grief
5. Mayo Clinic. (2023). "Grief: Coping with Reminders After a Loss.":https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/7-steps-for-managing-grief-and-loss/
6. Psychology Today. "The Five Stages of Grief: Debunking Misconceptions.": https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/mindful-anger/202207/5-stages-of-grief-and-what-we-can-learn-about-ourselves